Xenoblade: What Went Wrong
by green-piggy
Summary: Ever wondered what would happen if everything that could go wrong, went wrong? From Dunban running into a group of Mechon to Reyn being flung into water, some... interesting things shall unfold in the worlds of Bionis and Mechonis.


**A/N: If I owned Xenoblade, then it would be over in the USA, so that everyone actually knows what I'm talking about! :)**

**Anyway; I believe that this is the first English Xenoblade Chronicles story, and I'm really sorry that it had to be a parody! :( I couldn't think of anything serious, but I wanted to do **_**something! **_**:D**

**So here you go! I may continue this, if enough people want me to. Any suggestions? ;) And I **_**will **_**write a serious one-shot one day, I **_**promise! **_**Since Xenoblade is such an amazing game, and I'm sorry for everyone being OOC and so on. Hopefully, I'll make a few people laugh with this! :D**

**Warnings:**** Slight swear words, and horrible OOCness. Also, spoilers for before the battle with Jade Face. If you are offended easily by the s-word and the c-word, then turn back please.**

**Hope you all enjoy! :D**

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><p><strong>Reyn's a Thief!<strong>

"_Reyn? _What are you doing?" Shulk asked suspiciously, raising an eyebrow as his friend froze over the sacred Monado that the blond had so faithfully studied for years.

"Um... _nothing!_" the brunet chuckled nervously, but not before the Monado suddenly came to life in his hands. It suddenly swung around the room blindly, slicing anything and everything that got in its way. Fiora shrieked and ducked the red blade as it sliced over her head, yet Shulk simply stood there. Like a bad-ass to the _extreme._

When the weapon came at him, he closed his eyes ignoring Reyn's calls of terror. Glancing upwards, he felt a surprisingly _cold _patch on his head.

"Where's my _hair?_"

* * *

><p><strong>Colony 9's Bridge is Falling Down...<strong>

"I've got you now!" Fiora called from inside the machine, glaring at the metal Mechon as she readied the controls. Shulk was torn between begging her to stop and watching it all unfold. Reyn was lazily inspecting his giant shield thing, while Dunban gazed after her in worry. He _needed _the money that she got for him every month!

She pressed a large button, and yelled loudly. Yet nothing happened. She tried again, frowning as the switch refused to activate for her. As she began to wail out, Metal Face laid down on the ground, stretching his legs out and accidentally knocking Reyn off the edge of the bridge.

"_AHHHHHHHHHHHH!"_

"Hurry up and try to kill me already!"

* * *

><p><strong>It's Reyn Time!<strong>

"It's Reyn time!" said brunet shouted loudly, an aura of confidence _literally _around him as he dove recklessly into the enemies that surrounded them. Shulk was busy running away due to his low health, while Sharla was wedging her weapon into the ground to 'cool it down'. Again.

Finishing off the final enemy as it screeched in anger, Reyn suddenly abandoned his weapon on the ground and began to dance.

"Guess what time it is? It's _Reyn _time!" he sung dreadfully, much to the horrors of the other two.

Shulk was glad that Fiora wasn't here, and Sharla was grateful for the absence of Juju.

* * *

><p><strong>Accident!<strong>

"I've gotta find the Mechon... prove that I'm not useless," Juju muttered to himself angrily as he bravely drove the machine that he had stolen from his sister onwards, towards the large bridge. He had never rode in one before, much less _drive _it, but he thought that he was doing a good time.

Suddenly, the vehicle stopped abruptly and he was sent flying. Looking behind him by somersaulting in mid-air, he was horrified of the sight of his vehicle smoking. At the edge of the bridge.

Which meant that he was going to fall into the river. Which was _really _far down.

"I'm too young to die!" Juju wailed loudly, stopping when he suddenly hit the water with a large bang. And was never seen again.

And _that _is why you always wear a seatbelt, kids.

* * *

><p><strong>Sibling Wars<strong>

"Dunban," Fiora smiled warmly at her older brother, stepping forward. Her brother shook his head in disbelief, before running forward towards her.

"_Fiora!_"

The two of them ran up to each other, and embraced each other into a crushing hug. They stayed like that for a few seconds, as everyone else watched on warmly.

Suddenly, Fiora's fist collided with his nose.

"_BAM!_"

"_FIORA!" _Dunban shouted in surprise, stepping back as he grabbed his throbbing nose in pain. She cracked her metal fists together.

"_That's _for being a cry-baby!"

**Take II**

**Cry Baby Cry!**

"Dunban," Fiora smiled warmly at her older brother, stepping forward. Her brother shook his head in disbelief, before running forward towards her.

"_Fiora!_"

The two of them ran up to each other, and embraced each other into a crushing hug. They stayed like that for a few seconds, as everyone else watched on warmly.

"_I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!" _Dunban began to cry madly like a baby, wailing loudly as he put his head onto her chest. Fiora glanced down in alarm, an eyebrow raised in surprise.

"Okkkayyyyyy..."

**Take III**

**Slice 'n' Dice**

"Dunban," Fiora smiled warmly at her older brother, stepping forward. Her brother shook his head in disbelief, before running forward towards her.

"_Fiora!_"

The two of them ran up to each other, both smiling widely as happy music played in the background. However, Dunban mistimed the sprint and ran right past her into the group of Mechon nearby. Everyone else winced as he screamed in agony at the claws striking him.

"_HELP ME!"_

"Poor guy." Reyn muttered in sadness, taking his heavy head gear off and holding it down in respect. Everyone else followed him, apart from Melia who just bowed in utmost respect for the poor man.

"I said _SAVE ME!"_

"No, you said _help _me."

* * *

><p><strong>Water Baby<strong>

"Come on Fiora!" Shulk pleaded, gently tilting the bottle into Fiora's mouth so that she would drink the water. However, it only came out around her mouth, and none actually went in. Sighing, he took a massive gulp of it before pressing his lips against hers to put the water in.

"_YAY SHULK!" _Reyn's loud voice cheered from behind him. Both of the teenagers immediately looked up in alarm at his voice.

"_Reyn?_"

"_REYN!_" Fiora was a bit less welcoming, and she walked over and spat the water in her mouth all over him. He fell into the sea in shock.

"_I CAN'T SWIM!"_

"Good for you."

**Take II**

"Come on Fiora!" Shulk pleaded, gently tilting the bottle into Fiora's mouth so that she would drink the water. However, it only came out around her mouth, and none actually went in. Sighing, he took a massive gulp of it before pressing his lips against hers to put the water in.

"_Incoming!_" a familiar voice yelled in horror, and Shulk looked up with his mouth still full of water to see Dunban falling from the sky, along with a shrieking Riki and a terrified-looking Melia.

The trio of sky people collided with the two on the ground with an awful bang, as the water erupted from the boy's mouth. Fiora's emerald eyes fluttered open, and she was met with Shulk's face looking like it had been squashed against a window. Hard.

"...Charming."

* * *

><p><strong>Family<strong>

"I have... _family?_" Fiora asked in surprise, eyes focusing intensely on Shulk as she spoke. Dunban suddenly leaped in front of the blond, much to his horror.

"_Dunban!"_

"We are fam-i-ly!" he sung loudly, cheering himself on as he shook his body about and his ass straight in Shulk's poor face.

"He's not my family, is he?" she dead-panned to herself, shaking her head. Reyn noticed her look, and gave her a sad look.

"Yep, he is."

"I love you, you love me! We're a happy family! With a-"

* * *

><p><strong>Encounter of the Unexpected<strong>

"_SHIT!" _Shulk screamed loudly as he sprinted for his life cartoon-like, as Reyn and Sharla ran behind him. The huge LV. 098 monster behind them roared loudly, and thumped after them. The blond glanced behind in horror, as the massive dinosaur chased after the trio. Suddenly, he slipped in the snow and fell face-first into the freezing solid cold. Glancing upwards, he saw Reyn wave cheerfully at him as he held a clattering Sharla bride-style.

"So long, friend!" he called out cheerfully, slowly disappearing into the frosty depths of the night. Shulk screamed at him.

"_I HAVE THE MONADO SO YOU HAD BETTER COME AND SAVE ME!_" he shouted loudly. The brunet suddenly stopped, and Sharla fell to the snow as the creature roared.

"Crap."

* * *

><p><strong>Riki Volleyball!<strong>

"Watch out!" Shulk shouted loudly, smacking a round ball that was pale in color high into the air as it came crashing down on top of them. Melia shrieked in surprise, and smashed it with her staff as hard as she could. Sharla ducked it, as it whispered past her hair. Dunban hit it upwards in alarm, and then it came down on top of Reyn.

Oh dear.

"_YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT!_" he roared to Dunban, before smashing the ball thing as hard as he could with his two fists. It smashed the poor man in the stomach, and sent him flying into the wall with amazing strength. He then slid down unconscious, just as the ball uncurled itself.

"I'm the Heropon!" he declared loudly, before accidentally falling into the small pond of water nearby.

"_Great..._" Reyn muttered under his breath, shaking his head.

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><p><strong>AN: I really do love this game so much, and I feel that I haven't given it justice. I'm really sorry, to anyone who's reading this. Any ideas (if you wish for this to be continued) would be awesome!**

**Please review! ^_^**


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